As Christmas approaches my thoughts are drawn back to the memories of Christmas past. When our children were young Christmas was a magical time of the year. The memories are sweet and comforting. One in particular comes to mind of many years ago. This was when my oldest daughter was 6 years old. I cracked open my old journal this morning and read about the experience and felt like sharing it with you. Here is my journal entry from Christmas Eve 1990:

Christmas Eve – what a night! It was a lot of fun for me and Lisa to see the excitement in the kids’ eyes. We sang Silent Night and then read the Christmas story in Luke. The kids wanted to get to bed so fast. Neil kept telling everyone to stop talking so we could get through our scripture reading.

After family prayer and scripture reading we sent them off to bed. Soon after that I went outside and rang the jingle bells outside the kids’ window. Later, when I went into their room to check on them, they were so excited to tell me about hearing the bells.

Erika had written a letter to Santa and left it by the tree. She asked several questions like; is there really a red nosed reindeer and how does he know if you are awake and how do reindeer fly? She also left a banana and a glass of milk for Santa on the fireplace mantle.

So I decided Santa should write her back. I sat down at the kitchen table and began writing her a letter from Santa as I ate the banana and drank the milk. I used a red pen and wrote in a very fancy script. I was halfway through the letter when I looked up and there was Erika, standing by the table staring at me! I about died on the spot! She wanted a drink of water. I quickly covered the letter, got her a drink and then chased her off to bed.

Later I went back into her room just to see what she would say to me or what kind of questions she may ask. I was worried about how much she may have seen. Luckily she hadn’t noticed what I was doing earlier or at least didn’t say anything about it. That was a close one!

Later Lisa and I were wrapping presents and I was hauling them upstairs. I decided to check on her again. She was still awake at 12:15 a.m.! That little rascal! She is so excited. It’s 1 a.m. and I hope she’s asleep now. It will be so fun to see the excitement on the kids’ faces in the morning.

And it was exciting, as all Christmas’s were back then. There is nothing quite like having Christmas with small children. They had a way of bringing back the magic and excitement of my own childhood. Now my daughter has two children of her own and she has begun the cycle all over again of experiencing the magic through them.

I’ve heard criticism from time to time of people who “deceive” their children with the whole Santa Clause thing. Frankly, I’ve not seen any negative effects from it with my children. In fact it’s been quite the contrary with my experience. Now, when my children gather at our home they love to talk about the great Christmas memories of their childhood.

We can talk about tips and techniques for mastering our family relationships but sometimes the answers to our problems are so simple. Sometimes all that we need is to spend time together having fun and building memories. Christmas traditions build wonderful memories with your family that will last a lifetime. It’s part of the glue that holds a family together. May you take the time to build memories with your loved ones this Christmas season. The dividends and blessings will continue to come year after year.

What are your Christmas memories? What is the glue that holds your family together? Please share!

Thank you.

Master Yourself, Master Your Life

Copyright © 2008 Garold N. Larson

Since the beginning of time man has been fascinated with eternal life. We have been intrigued with the idea of living forever. Let’s face it. We don’t like the idea of getting old or dying. It scares us.

Ponce de Leon

In the early 1500s the Spanish explorer Ponce de Leon heard fantastic tales of crystal spring waters flowing from living springs among the Bahama Islands in which he who bathed in these waters would be instantly endowed with immortal youth and great beauty. He was getting older and dreamed of finding this “fountain of youth” and bathing in it.

He sailed from Puerto Rico for the Bahamas with several ships outfitted at his expense. He went from island to island tasting of and bathing in every stream and lake that he found but with no luck. He continued on and came upon a wooded shoreline with large flowering trees that filled the air with their fragrance. He believed he had finally found the fabled paradise. Read the rest of this entry »

Some time ago my wife and I were babysitting our two grandchildren for a week while our daughter and son-in-law are off on vacation. We enjoyed every minute of it. Well, maybe not every minute of it but most every minute. It was great getting to know our two grandkids a little more. Their names are Jenna and Carter.

Well, one day my wife and I went out for a while and left our 14-year-old daughter Kimberly to watch them while we were gone. Kimberly happens to be an exceptional babysitter and is in high demand in our neighborhood as a babysitter.

When Lisa and I got home our son Preston was anxious to tell us that Kimberly yelled at Carter because he wouldn’t stop crying. I said, “She yelled at him?” and he said “Yeah.” Well, this disturbed me a little bit.

So when my daughter walked into the kitchen with her friend, I said to Kimberly, “So, I hear you yelled at Carter.”

She was very defensive and I kept asking her questions about why she yelled at her little nephew. From what I could tell she didn’t like me saying what I said, but of course who would? I didn’t detect any huge emotional upset. After a minute or so her friend left and Kimberly turned around and went downstairs to her bedroom. I didn’t think anything more about it.

Well my wife, who was standing right there the whole time, turned to me and said, “Kimberly’s very upset about what you said to her. And she’s especially upset that you did it in front of her friend. She’s probably down in her room crying.” Read the rest of this entry »

Are you deficit spending in the most important relationships in your life? This article will help you get out of emotional debt and turn your failing relationships around.

I have a 15-year-old teenage daughter. Kimberly is her name. She and I have always had a close relationship as father and daughter. Recently, though, I’ve noticed that she doesn’t want much to do with me. In fact our relationship has been strained on a fairly frequent basis. When I see her and say “Hi” she barely acknowledges me. When I ask her how school is going she gives me a scowl and mumbles something under her breath that sounds like “go away and leave me alone.” I couldn’t quite make it out. Anyway, I was getting concerned. I know deep down inside that she loves me. So what was going on here?

I suppose I could chalk up this behavior to the normal teenage tension that goes on between adolescents and their parents, but I just wasn’t buying that. What really was the root cause here?

Read the rest of this entry »

Years ago I used to have regular Father’s Interviews with each of my children. I was thinking lately that I ought to start doing that again with my three youngest children who are still at home. Well, this morning I read an entry in my journal about the first time I had Father’s Interviews with my children and it was quite amusing and interesting. It convinced me that I need to start that practice again in my home. Here is the journal entry. Read it and tell me what you think: Read the rest of this entry »

This morning I happened to be looking through one of my old journals from 19 years ago and came across an interesting journal entry. It was a letter to my son Neil on his 3rd birthday. I had totally forgotten that I had written this little gem to my son. It’s poignant now because I had just recently written him another letter and posted it here on this web site. I entitled it: A Letter to My Son on His Wedding Day.

Here is my journal entry from July 2, 1988:

Dear Neil,

Today you turned three years old. You have grown up so fast. First of all, Neil, I just want you to know how much I love you and care about you. You and I have had our struggles lately though. We don’t always see eye to eye on things. But you have a big heart and you are a very loving boy. You love your little brother Bryce and you enjoy playing with him so much. You also are constantly trying to keep up with your big sister Erika. You get so frustrated when she leaves you behind or walks too fast for you.

You and Erika and her little friend from across the street spend a lot of time playing together. You love to go visit Grandma and Grandpa Woodland who live at the end of the street. They have adopted you as a grandson. They think you are the neatest little boy in all the world. They just may be right.

Neil, I pray that you can grow up with a desire to do what’s right. I pray that you and I can always be close and that there will never be a barrier between us. Neil, we’re not as close right now as I know we ought to be and I know that’s my fault. I just haven’t spent enough one-on-one time with you.

I want you to know that I am not a perfect father and I make many mistakes and have many weaknesses. But I try every day to improve myself and do better.

Neil, I love you and hope I can be a better father to you.

Love,
Dad

Well, there you have it – my thoughts and feelings about my young son 19 years ago. I am glad to report that I did work on my relationship with him and we do have a great relationship today. It wasn’t always easy and we didn’t always see eye-to-eye. But he has grown up to be a great young man who I love very much.

Why am I sharing this with you? Perhaps you are now where I was then with your children. My advice is to keep working on your relationships with your children. The payoffs in later years make all the struggles worth it. Houses, cars and jobs come and go but your children will ALWAYS be your children. They are what’s really important. Never lose sight of that fact. Thank you.

Copyright © 2008 Garold N. Larson

Dear Neil,

Twenty-two years ago you came into my life. I will never forget that day. You were such a beautiful baby with lots of hair. As I held you in my arms I wondered what the future held for you, what kind of life you would live. I wondered if I could be a good father to you and teach you and raise you right. When you were a year old I wrote this in my journal:

Neil sure is getting to be a rambunctious little boy. He gets into everything. You have to watch him every second. He loves to climb up onto chairs and then up onto tables. He has a lot of bad falls and bangs his head quite often. He’s a good boy though. (Oct. 12, 1986)

And now, over twenty years later, I could write nearly the same thing except its cliffs and cars and bridges you climb up and jump off of! And I’m usually there helping to film the whole thing! You are definitely a young man that is cut from a different mold than most every one else. You have so many wonderful and unique talents and gifts that it excites me to watch you develop them and wonder where your life is headed. I’m excited to see what great things you will accomplish with your life. Read the rest of this entry »

(Note: This is a guest post by my daughter Erika. It was originally posted on her blog at nateanderikagomm.blogspot.com.)

By Erika Gomm

Our 5 year anniversary is coming up! And so, I thought I’d make a list of the valuable lessons I’ve learned these past 5 years…

BYU football and the Utah Jazz are NEVER. GOING. AWAY. Nate will never suddenly hate them. I will never suddenly love them. And so, I let him live in his happy sports world, and he lets me be happily ignorant. Who am I to break his passion?

It’s fun to cuddle at night. But, truth be told, we sleep WAY better apart on separate sides of the bed.

Sometimes it’s okay to go to bed angry. I can get, uh, emotional when I’m exhausted, so stopping an argument and sleeping on it really makes everything better in the morning.

We married young, yeah, not really knowing how we were gonna make it through college or PAY for college and do stuff like, BUDGET, but you know what we woulda missed if we’d have waited for everything to be “perfect”? I think struggling through school together and all hard stuff for that matter and establishing a life together is fun. Everything works out when you work on it together. Wow that sounded High School Musicalish.

I picked a keeper. I mean, I REALLY picked a KEEPER. Nate’s the bestest hubby I could have asked for.

All that time spent the night before our wedding waxing and shaving? Wasted. Cause guess who can’t tell the difference?? And who doesn’t care?? And who didn’t know his wife waxes anything at ALL until like a month ago?? I’ve learned men, at least my man, is oblivious to such things as fuzzy upper lips. And legs with the likes of Bigfoot have not ONCE turned him off.

Marriage takes work. It’s brought out the best… and the worst… in me at times. But it’s totally and utterly WORTH IT.

Marriage is no place to be bashful. For example, I spent the first 3-4 months of marriage going to the bathroom everywhere else BUT our apartment to avoid embarrassment. I wish I were kidding… utterly ridiculous! When I later told Nate, he laughed so hard. After living together awhile, somehow all inhibitions bite the dust! It’s kinda nice just letting all guards down and being myself, even if it means not looking or acting presentable or appropriate all the time. Cause, amazingly, we love each other anyway!

Being on track in the gospel–gasp! does make things better. We are so much closer when we’re praying and reading our scriptures consistently.

IT IS TRUE: since having kids, the hotness of our romance is, well, not as hot. I mean, it’s definitely DEEPER. I’m just saying we don’t really pounce on each other anymore.

IT IS ALSO TRUE: things were awesome before kids. But now, things are the best.

Boy, pick your battles. Fighting over how to cut cheese, or whether potatoes are a vegetable or a starch (OR BOTH! HELLO who won THAT one thank you), or whether potatoes can be a main dish or not (wow two potato fights, seriously what was our problem) or whether I should be able to eat chocolate donuts while I’m nursing (turns out chocolate doesn’t affect MY babies so HA!) is just NOT worth the energy.

There’s nothing sexier than seeing Nate play with Jenna and Carter. Except maybe seeing him do dishes.

And lastly, we really have a great marriage and I’ve learned over and over in the last 5 years that, wow, we really are made for each other, my sweetie fits me perfectly and my love for him grows all the time, who knew? I love you with all my heart and soul Nate!

The goal of self-mastery is a noble one. Yet every day people’s efforts are thwarted because they fall victim to the enemies of self-mastery: Too Little and Too Much. As you work towards mastering your mind, mastering your body, mastering your money and mastering your relationships, nearly all failures can be traced back to the problem of too little and too much.

What do I mean by that? Let me explain by using some examples.

Mastering Your Body

First let’s talk about mastering your body. When you think about the struggles that people have with their health and with their physical body, most of them have to do with too little and too much.

Of course the obvious one is too much food. There is no arguing the fact that America is suffering from an obesity problem. We eat too much. We tend to overindulge and eat far too much than we need. When you go to a restaurant and order a dinner they generally bring out enough food for two people. The portions are huge and we feel that, in order to get our money’s worth, we need to eat the whole thing. A number of times my wife and I have ordered one meal and split it between the both of us and we have left the restaurant full. There have been a number of other times when we wish we would have done that because we ended up with far too much food and left the restaurant feeling stuffed and sick to our stomachs.

It was an interesting phenomenon when I took my family to visit China for a couple of weeks. We noticed there were no obese people. We just didn’t see any fat people in China. The people weren’t starving. There wasn’t poverty. These were regular people and they were healthy. They were thin because they ate mostly vegetables and rice and they walked or rode bikes wherever they went. So you just didn’t see overweight people. It was quite shocking to come back to America and see how many overweight people there were. When you are around it all the time you don’t notice it so much but when you’ve been gone for a while and then come back – wow! There are a lot of grossly overweight people in America. We eat too much! Read the rest of this entry »

Since we recently celebrated Mother’s Day and Father’s Day I thought I would talk about honoring our parents. Father’s day was this past Sunday and it was a wonderful day for me, thanks to my family. However, it was also a sad day for me because it was the first time I wasn’t able to pick up the phone and call my dad to wish him a happy Father’s Day. You see, he passed away this past fall. I miss him.

It got me thinking about parents and children and the many diverse relationships they have with each other – from very strong and close to none at all. I think about my dear mother. She lives just a half mile from my home now. It’s not much of an effort for me to go over there to see her yet I always feel I don’t do it enough. When I do see her I tend to want to apologize to her for not visiting her enough. She always tells me to stop it and then proceeds to go on and on about what a wonderful and thoughtful son I am, which, in reality, I know I’m not. I could and should be a much better son.

How is your relationship with your parents? Is it what you’d like it to be? Is it what it should be? What should your relationship be like? The Ten Commandments seem to have gone out of fashion in our modern world, which I think is very sad. The seventh commandment reads:

“Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.” (Exodus 20:12)

I believe that commandment is still in effect today. I’m reminded of a couple of stories I heard years ago. I don’t know their sources. I think they each teach poignant lessons. Here is the first one:

“Just next door lives a wonderful old man. He is still very alert and active. That special morning he awakened earlier than usual, bathed, shaved and put on his best clothes. Surely, he thought, they would come today.

“He didn’t take his daily walk to the gas station to visit with the old-timers of the community, because he wanted to be right there when they came.

“He sat on the porch with a clear view of the road so he could see them coming. Surely they would come today.

“He decided to skip his noon nap because he wanted to be up when they came.

“He had six children. Two of his daughters and their married children lived within four miles. They hadn’t been to see him for such a long time. But today was a special day. Surely they would come today.

“At suppertime he refused to cut the cake and asked that the ice cream be left in the freezer. He wanted to wait and have dessert with them when they came.

“About 9 o’clock he went to his room and got ready for bed. His last words before turning out the lights were: ‘Promise to wake me when they come.’

“You see, it was his birthday, and he was 91.”

Read the rest of this entry »