Let me start off by making a very bold statement. There is a law of human behavior that works every time. It never fails. There are no exceptions. It will work with rebellious teenagers, nagging wives, uncaring husbands, demeaning bosses, obstinate employees, or annoying neighbors. When you use this law you will get others to admire and respect you. You will get others to want to help you get what you want. You will convert your enemies into friends. You will get other people to do what you want them to do. Interested?

Several years ago I had an experience that taught me this great lesson of human behavior. I had just finished a large software development project for an RV park and campground. It was a new reservation system and it required me to spend several days at the campground installing the software and training the employees how to use it.

One day as I was working behind the reservation desk a very large motorhome pulled up to the campground office. An older woman stepped out of the motorhome and came in to the office. She was an elegant and well-dressed woman. One look at her and you could tell she was a lady of class. Read the rest of this entry »

I want to talk today about the most powerful word in the English language. It has only three letters. It is the word Why.

Often when we are in a situation where we need to influence and persuade someone to see our point of view or to carry out some task, the other person will have objections. It is human nature for us to immediately want to argue the point with them using logic and reason. The problem with this method is that nobody likes to be proven wrong. Even when people know they are wrong they hate to admit it. You push against them and they tend to push back.

Instead of hitting them with a direct frontal assault by arguing with them about their objections, there is a better way. This is where we use our most powerful word.

When the other person raises an objection, ask the question “Why?” and let them talk. When they have explained their objection, then ask again “Why?” and let them talk some more. Keep them talking by using the words “Why” or “Why not.” Nine times out of ten they will come to realize the folly of their own position and talk themselves out of it. Many times they come to find out that their reasons just don’t add up.

The key is to use your ears instead of your tongue. There is no argument that you could use that will be half as effective as their own words. Read the rest of this entry »

 Whether you like it or not you are judged by the first impression you make on others. From the moment you first meet someone you have about sixty seconds to make a good impression. This article will show you six secrets to creating a powerful first impression.

Regardless of whether it’s fair or whether it’s correct, it’s a true fact that the first impression is how we judge each other. There is an old saying that goes,

“You only get one chance to make a good first impression.”

After that you’re done. Your chance is over. If you make a bad first impression then you are constantly working on damage control. You will always be remembered for that first impression, good or bad. Therefore it’s extremely important that you learn how to make a powerful and positive first impression. Read the rest of this entry »

Have you ever needed someone’s help only to find that getting it was like pulling teeth? Maybe you were going about it all wrong. Suppose there was another way to solicit help from others that would almost guarantee their total cooperation. If you are interested, then read on.

Try This Test

Try this test the next time you want someone to help you with something. It doesn’t really matter what you need help with. It can be shoveling snow, painting a fence or solving a computer problem.

Test 1: For the first test, simply ask someone to help you. Say, “Will you help me do this?” Tell them exactly what you want them to do and how to do it. You can even offer to pay them, but make it clear that all you are paying them to do is just what you want them to do. Now note what kind of cooperation you get.

Test 2: For this second test don’t just ask the other person to help you “do” something. Approach them by asking them to help you think about the job that needs to be done. Tell them you have a problem and would like their help in resolving it. Ask them what they think about the problem. Ask them for their opinion about how you are going about it. Again, note what level of cooperation you get.

Inevitably, you will find that although you will get some level of cooperation with the first method, you will almost always get total cooperation with the second method. Read the rest of this entry »