As Christmas approaches my thoughts are drawn back to the memories of Christmas past. When our children were young Christmas was a magical time of the year. The memories are sweet and comforting. One in particular comes to mind of many years ago. This was when my oldest daughter was 6 years old. I cracked open my old journal this morning and read about the experience and felt like sharing it with you. Here is my journal entry from Christmas Eve 1990:

Christmas Eve – what a night! It was a lot of fun for me and Lisa to see the excitement in the kids’ eyes. We sang Silent Night and then read the Christmas story in Luke. The kids wanted to get to bed so fast. Neil kept telling everyone to stop talking so we could get through our scripture reading.

After family prayer and scripture reading we sent them off to bed. Soon after that I went outside and rang the jingle bells outside the kids’ window. Later, when I went into their room to check on them, they were so excited to tell me about hearing the bells.

Erika had written a letter to Santa and left it by the tree. She asked several questions like; is there really a red nosed reindeer and how does he know if you are awake and how do reindeer fly? She also left a banana and a glass of milk for Santa on the fireplace mantle.

So I decided Santa should write her back. I sat down at the kitchen table and began writing her a letter from Santa as I ate the banana and drank the milk. I used a red pen and wrote in a very fancy script. I was halfway through the letter when I looked up and there was Erika, standing by the table staring at me! I about died on the spot! She wanted a drink of water. I quickly covered the letter, got her a drink and then chased her off to bed.

Later I went back into her room just to see what she would say to me or what kind of questions she may ask. I was worried about how much she may have seen. Luckily she hadn’t noticed what I was doing earlier or at least didn’t say anything about it. That was a close one!

Later Lisa and I were wrapping presents and I was hauling them upstairs. I decided to check on her again. She was still awake at 12:15 a.m.! That little rascal! She is so excited. It’s 1 a.m. and I hope she’s asleep now. It will be so fun to see the excitement on the kids’ faces in the morning.

And it was exciting, as all Christmas’s were back then. There is nothing quite like having Christmas with small children. They had a way of bringing back the magic and excitement of my own childhood. Now my daughter has two children of her own and she has begun the cycle all over again of experiencing the magic through them.

I’ve heard criticism from time to time of people who “deceive” their children with the whole Santa Clause thing. Frankly, I’ve not seen any negative effects from it with my children. In fact it’s been quite the contrary with my experience. Now, when my children gather at our home they love to talk about the great Christmas memories of their childhood.

We can talk about tips and techniques for mastering our family relationships but sometimes the answers to our problems are so simple. Sometimes all that we need is to spend time together having fun and building memories. Christmas traditions build wonderful memories with your family that will last a lifetime. It’s part of the glue that holds a family together. May you take the time to build memories with your loved ones this Christmas season. The dividends and blessings will continue to come year after year.

What are your Christmas memories? What is the glue that holds your family together? Please share!

Thank you.

Master Yourself, Master Your Life

Copyright © 2008 Garold N. Larson

Some time ago my wife and I were babysitting our two grandchildren for a week while our daughter and son-in-law are off on vacation. We enjoyed every minute of it. Well, maybe not every minute of it but most every minute. It was great getting to know our two grandkids a little more. Their names are Jenna and Carter.

Well, one day my wife and I went out for a while and left our 14-year-old daughter Kimberly to watch them while we were gone. Kimberly happens to be an exceptional babysitter and is in high demand in our neighborhood as a babysitter.

When Lisa and I got home our son Preston was anxious to tell us that Kimberly yelled at Carter because he wouldn’t stop crying. I said, “She yelled at him?” and he said “Yeah.” Well, this disturbed me a little bit.

So when my daughter walked into the kitchen with her friend, I said to Kimberly, “So, I hear you yelled at Carter.”

She was very defensive and I kept asking her questions about why she yelled at her little nephew. From what I could tell she didn’t like me saying what I said, but of course who would? I didn’t detect any huge emotional upset. After a minute or so her friend left and Kimberly turned around and went downstairs to her bedroom. I didn’t think anything more about it.

Well my wife, who was standing right there the whole time, turned to me and said, “Kimberly’s very upset about what you said to her. And she’s especially upset that you did it in front of her friend. She’s probably down in her room crying.” Read the rest of this entry »

Years ago I used to have regular Father’s Interviews with each of my children. I was thinking lately that I ought to start doing that again with my three youngest children who are still at home. Well, this morning I read an entry in my journal about the first time I had Father’s Interviews with my children and it was quite amusing and interesting. It convinced me that I need to start that practice again in my home. Here is the journal entry. Read it and tell me what you think: Read the rest of this entry »

Good morning! I want to talk about how strict or rigid should you be in keeping goals. For example, in my case I set a goal to go to bed each night at 10:30 p.m. How rigid should I be with that and should there be exceptions?

My answer to that is that there has to be exceptions at times but they should be few and far between.

For me last night was one of those exceptions. The only time there should be an exception is if there is a higher priority at play here that supersedes the lower one. For example, a higher priority would be my family and my relationships with my children. In this case it was attending a performance that my son was in.

Let me just explain what it was about. My soon-to-be 17-year-old son is a member of the local high school marching band. He plays the sousaphone. (Yes, that’s him in the center of the photo.) I thought it was called a tuba but apparently a tuba is played sitting down such as in a concert. A sousaphone is simply a version of the tuba used by marching bands. Anyway, my son and his band have worked extremely hard on their performance. For those of you who have never been involved with marching bands, they actually have competitions where many marching bands get together and compete. Each band puts on a performance that includes a number of elements. They have judges who judge the competition and they give awards at the end. This is a huge event that begins in the early afternoon and goes on until after 10:00 at night. Read the rest of this entry »

This morning I happened to be looking through one of my old journals from 19 years ago and came across an interesting journal entry. It was a letter to my son Neil on his 3rd birthday. I had totally forgotten that I had written this little gem to my son. It’s poignant now because I had just recently written him another letter and posted it here on this web site. I entitled it: A Letter to My Son on His Wedding Day.

Here is my journal entry from July 2, 1988:

Dear Neil,

Today you turned three years old. You have grown up so fast. First of all, Neil, I just want you to know how much I love you and care about you. You and I have had our struggles lately though. We don’t always see eye to eye on things. But you have a big heart and you are a very loving boy. You love your little brother Bryce and you enjoy playing with him so much. You also are constantly trying to keep up with your big sister Erika. You get so frustrated when she leaves you behind or walks too fast for you.

You and Erika and her little friend from across the street spend a lot of time playing together. You love to go visit Grandma and Grandpa Woodland who live at the end of the street. They have adopted you as a grandson. They think you are the neatest little boy in all the world. They just may be right.

Neil, I pray that you can grow up with a desire to do what’s right. I pray that you and I can always be close and that there will never be a barrier between us. Neil, we’re not as close right now as I know we ought to be and I know that’s my fault. I just haven’t spent enough one-on-one time with you.

I want you to know that I am not a perfect father and I make many mistakes and have many weaknesses. But I try every day to improve myself and do better.

Neil, I love you and hope I can be a better father to you.

Love,
Dad

Well, there you have it – my thoughts and feelings about my young son 19 years ago. I am glad to report that I did work on my relationship with him and we do have a great relationship today. It wasn’t always easy and we didn’t always see eye-to-eye. But he has grown up to be a great young man who I love very much.

Why am I sharing this with you? Perhaps you are now where I was then with your children. My advice is to keep working on your relationships with your children. The payoffs in later years make all the struggles worth it. Houses, cars and jobs come and go but your children will ALWAYS be your children. They are what’s really important. Never lose sight of that fact. Thank you.

Copyright © 2008 Garold N. Larson

Dear Neil,

Twenty-two years ago you came into my life. I will never forget that day. You were such a beautiful baby with lots of hair. As I held you in my arms I wondered what the future held for you, what kind of life you would live. I wondered if I could be a good father to you and teach you and raise you right. When you were a year old I wrote this in my journal:

Neil sure is getting to be a rambunctious little boy. He gets into everything. You have to watch him every second. He loves to climb up onto chairs and then up onto tables. He has a lot of bad falls and bangs his head quite often. He’s a good boy though. (Oct. 12, 1986)

And now, over twenty years later, I could write nearly the same thing except its cliffs and cars and bridges you climb up and jump off of! And I’m usually there helping to film the whole thing! You are definitely a young man that is cut from a different mold than most every one else. You have so many wonderful and unique talents and gifts that it excites me to watch you develop them and wonder where your life is headed. I’m excited to see what great things you will accomplish with your life. Read the rest of this entry »