The Universal Law of Human Behavior
Posted by Garold N. LarsonOct 31
Let me start off by making a very bold statement. There is a law of human behavior that works every time. It never fails. There are no exceptions. It will work with rebellious teenagers, nagging wives, uncaring husbands, demeaning bosses, obstinate employees, or annoying neighbors. When you use this law you will get others to admire and respect you. You will get others to want to help you get what you want. You will convert your enemies into friends. You will get other people to do what you want them to do. Interested?
Several years ago I had an experience that taught me this great lesson of human behavior. I had just finished a large software development project for an RV park and campground. It was a new reservation system and it required me to spend several days at the campground installing the software and training the employees how to use it.
One day as I was working behind the reservation desk a very large motorhome pulled up to the campground office. An older woman stepped out of the motorhome and came in to the office. She was an elegant and well-dressed woman. One look at her and you could tell she was a lady of class.
It wasn’t my job but since I was at the computer I offered to help her. As I pulled up her reservation information on the computer she stopped me for a moment and said, “Where did you get that lovely tie? It looks so good on you and matches your eyes.” She kept going on and on about my tie and insisted on knowing where I bought it. I was embarrassed to tell her I bought it at the local Kmart store. I thought she would laugh at me but no, she even wanted to know where the Kmart store was because she wanted to buy a tie just like it for her husband.
Now to you this may sound like some silly little incident that’s not even worth mentioning. It shouldn’t be worth mentioning except for the amazing effect it had on me that day. First of all, what kind of service do you suppose I gave that lady? Excellent service, that’s for sure! I made sure every little detail was taken care of for her. And for the entire rest of that day I simply felt wonderful and had a big smile on my face. Even now, over 15 years later, I can remember that incident like it was yesterday. And guess what, I still really like that lady!
So what happened there? What was it about that little incident that had such power over me? For Pete’s sake, a lady simply complimented me on my silly Kmart tie and my day was transformed! How could that be?
Whether she knew it or not, this woman used a proven law of human behavior. It is a law as universal as is Newton’s law of gravity. It is as much a part of man as his heart or his brain. It is this:
Every person in the world has a deep and burning desire, even an insatiable craving-to be liked, to be respected, to feel important.
The woman at the campground simply gave me what I craved the most and I became putty in her hands. I was ready to do whatever it took to satisfy her needs and make her happy.
Now that you know what this law is, why don’t you do something with it? Why don’t you use this basic human drive in your daily relationships with other people? Once you know how to satisfy their longing for importance you will find your own influence with them rising greatly.
I believe in this statement by Les Giblin:
You want to make a good impression with the other fellow. But the most effective way ever discovered for impressing the other fellow is to let him know that you are impressed by him.
When you consider the remarkable consequences that can result from the littlest things, like a kind word, a pat on the shoulder, a smile, a tip of the hat, a simple complement, wouldn’t it be well to incorporate those things into your daily interactions with others?
You have the power to give people what they crave: the feeling of importance, to be appreciated, to be noticed. Like the lady at the campground, it doesn’t cost you a dime to give it out. You don’t have to fear that you’ll use it all up. You have a never ending supply of it. Learn to use this great power and others will have a tremendous desire to help you get what you want. They will remember you for years with high regard because of how you made them feel. You have the power. Use it!
Do you have experiences of using this law in your own life? Let us hear what you have to say about it.
Thank you.
Master Yourself, Master Your Life
Copyright © 2008 Garold N. Larson
Yeah it’s amazing what a compliment will do! Like when I worked at the library, sometimes the days where I felt the most unattractive (like when I was pregnant) someone would tell me I looked good or whatever and it would totally change my day. It really made me think that when I notice something positive about someone, to just say it, because you assume it doesn’t matter but it matters to me so it probably matters to others.
Yes it does matter more than we think. Think about the people you like to be around. They are the ones interested in you and paying attention to you. You can do the same for others.
Thank you for reminding me of the power of kindness. And that isn’t only what you say but also what you do. Point taken though that offering others sincere compliments can do wonders to their responsiveness to you. I thought for a moment you were going to talk about this lady’s insincerity in order to get you to give her superior service for it can be used manipulatively also. I’m just delighted that it worked for you to be able to remember it years later.
Yvonne, thank you for your comment. You are right about the possibility of using compliments and kindness in a manipulative way. We have to be careful of our motives and intent. In the case of this lady, I didn’t detect any insincerity at all. It felt very genuine. If that was manipulation I wouldn’t mind being manipulated like that more often!
Have a great day.