Is it worth it? I heard that question this morning. If was from my wife Lisa. She knows me too well. Let me back up a bit. I was in the bathroom shaving this morning when my wife walked in. Her greeting wasn’t, “Good morning dear, how did you sleep?” It was, “Soooo…you stayed up until 2:00 in the morning. You know what that does to you. Is it worth it?” I didn’t give her an answer. I didn’t have a good one to give.

I have a character flaw. It is not knowing when to quit a project and go to bed. I was working on some articles last night and before I knew it, it was nearly 2:00 a.m. Lisa had long since gone to bed and was sound asleep. When I crawled into bed she didn’t wake up or roll over or even move a muscle. I thought I was safe and she would never know how late I went to bed. How she knew what time I went to bed is a mystery to me. It’s one of those mysteries of women that men can’t figure out.

So she had me. She asked me if it was worth it because she knows from past experience the price I usually pay for staying up late. Read the rest of this entry »

I talked earlier about the concept of Threshold, of reaching a boiling point in your life, of hitting rock bottom and realizing you need to change. But after that, then what? Where do you go from there? Many people have reached that point and they say, “I’m going to make a change, I’m going to turn over a new leaf.” But, you know, they go to bed, they get up the next day, and life goes on and nothing really changes. Well, that’s a good point. Where do you go from there?

Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want

I think many times we focus on the bad habit or behavior that we want to change and that’s where our mind is, that’s where our attention is, that’s where the vision is, the pictures that we have in our mind. Now I’ll go back to the example of the person who overeats. You know they say, “I’ve got to change, I’ve got to go on a diet, I’ve got to quit eating the food.” They put all of their focus on not eating and they are constantly thinking about food, saying things to themselves like; “I can’t eat the chips and salsa. I can’t eat the chocolate cake in the fridge. I’ve got to count calories.” Their whole focus is all on food, and not eating the food. Read the rest of this entry »

Epiphany - I’m not sure of the definition but I think it has to do with an “Ah ha!” moment when you learn something new or understand something for the first time. I feel like I’m having one today.

Right now, as I write this, I’m on top of a mountain, taking a day to be alone to think and to meditate.

A depressing discovery

Let me back up a little. I took some time yesterday to try and come up with a plan for change. As I went through years and years of my files containing goals and lists of changes I wanted to make I became very depressed. I saw a pattern of doing the same thing over and over and never making any real progress. For a brief moment as I sat at my desk at home I just felt like giving up, like it was a losing battle that I’ll never get a handle on. Read the rest of this entry »

This morning I happened to be looking through one of my old journals from 19 years ago and came across an interesting journal entry. It was a letter to my son Neil on his 3rd birthday. I had totally forgotten that I had written this little gem to my son. It’s poignant now because I had just recently written him another letter and posted it here on this web site. I entitled it: A Letter to My Son on His Wedding Day.

Here is my journal entry from July 2, 1988:

Dear Neil,

Today you turned three years old. You have grown up so fast. First of all, Neil, I just want you to know how much I love you and care about you. You and I have had our struggles lately though. We don’t always see eye to eye on things. But you have a big heart and you are a very loving boy. You love your little brother Bryce and you enjoy playing with him so much. You also are constantly trying to keep up with your big sister Erika. You get so frustrated when she leaves you behind or walks too fast for you.

You and Erika and her little friend from across the street spend a lot of time playing together. You love to go visit Grandma and Grandpa Woodland who live at the end of the street. They have adopted you as a grandson. They think you are the neatest little boy in all the world. They just may be right.

Neil, I pray that you can grow up with a desire to do what’s right. I pray that you and I can always be close and that there will never be a barrier between us. Neil, we’re not as close right now as I know we ought to be and I know that’s my fault. I just haven’t spent enough one-on-one time with you.

I want you to know that I am not a perfect father and I make many mistakes and have many weaknesses. But I try every day to improve myself and do better.

Neil, I love you and hope I can be a better father to you.

Love,
Dad

Well, there you have it – my thoughts and feelings about my young son 19 years ago. I am glad to report that I did work on my relationship with him and we do have a great relationship today. It wasn’t always easy and we didn’t always see eye-to-eye. But he has grown up to be a great young man who I love very much.

Why am I sharing this with you? Perhaps you are now where I was then with your children. My advice is to keep working on your relationships with your children. The payoffs in later years make all the struggles worth it. Houses, cars and jobs come and go but your children will ALWAYS be your children. They are what’s really important. Never lose sight of that fact. Thank you.

Copyright © 2008 Garold N. Larson

Dear Neil,

Twenty-two years ago you came into my life. I will never forget that day. You were such a beautiful baby with lots of hair. As I held you in my arms I wondered what the future held for you, what kind of life you would live. I wondered if I could be a good father to you and teach you and raise you right. When you were a year old I wrote this in my journal:

Neil sure is getting to be a rambunctious little boy. He gets into everything. You have to watch him every second. He loves to climb up onto chairs and then up onto tables. He has a lot of bad falls and bangs his head quite often. He’s a good boy though. (Oct. 12, 1986)

And now, over twenty years later, I could write nearly the same thing except its cliffs and cars and bridges you climb up and jump off of! And I’m usually there helping to film the whole thing! You are definitely a young man that is cut from a different mold than most every one else. You have so many wonderful and unique talents and gifts that it excites me to watch you develop them and wonder where your life is headed. I’m excited to see what great things you will accomplish with your life. Read the rest of this entry »

(Note: This is a guest post by my daughter Erika. It was originally posted on her blog at nateanderikagomm.blogspot.com.)

By Erika Gomm

Our 5 year anniversary is coming up! And so, I thought I’d make a list of the valuable lessons I’ve learned these past 5 years…

BYU football and the Utah Jazz are NEVER. GOING. AWAY. Nate will never suddenly hate them. I will never suddenly love them. And so, I let him live in his happy sports world, and he lets me be happily ignorant. Who am I to break his passion?

It’s fun to cuddle at night. But, truth be told, we sleep WAY better apart on separate sides of the bed.

Sometimes it’s okay to go to bed angry. I can get, uh, emotional when I’m exhausted, so stopping an argument and sleeping on it really makes everything better in the morning.

We married young, yeah, not really knowing how we were gonna make it through college or PAY for college and do stuff like, BUDGET, but you know what we woulda missed if we’d have waited for everything to be “perfect”? I think struggling through school together and all hard stuff for that matter and establishing a life together is fun. Everything works out when you work on it together. Wow that sounded High School Musicalish.

I picked a keeper. I mean, I REALLY picked a KEEPER. Nate’s the bestest hubby I could have asked for.

All that time spent the night before our wedding waxing and shaving? Wasted. Cause guess who can’t tell the difference?? And who doesn’t care?? And who didn’t know his wife waxes anything at ALL until like a month ago?? I’ve learned men, at least my man, is oblivious to such things as fuzzy upper lips. And legs with the likes of Bigfoot have not ONCE turned him off.

Marriage takes work. It’s brought out the best… and the worst… in me at times. But it’s totally and utterly WORTH IT.

Marriage is no place to be bashful. For example, I spent the first 3-4 months of marriage going to the bathroom everywhere else BUT our apartment to avoid embarrassment. I wish I were kidding… utterly ridiculous! When I later told Nate, he laughed so hard. After living together awhile, somehow all inhibitions bite the dust! It’s kinda nice just letting all guards down and being myself, even if it means not looking or acting presentable or appropriate all the time. Cause, amazingly, we love each other anyway!

Being on track in the gospel–gasp! does make things better. We are so much closer when we’re praying and reading our scriptures consistently.

IT IS TRUE: since having kids, the hotness of our romance is, well, not as hot. I mean, it’s definitely DEEPER. I’m just saying we don’t really pounce on each other anymore.

IT IS ALSO TRUE: things were awesome before kids. But now, things are the best.

Boy, pick your battles. Fighting over how to cut cheese, or whether potatoes are a vegetable or a starch (OR BOTH! HELLO who won THAT one thank you), or whether potatoes can be a main dish or not (wow two potato fights, seriously what was our problem) or whether I should be able to eat chocolate donuts while I’m nursing (turns out chocolate doesn’t affect MY babies so HA!) is just NOT worth the energy.

There’s nothing sexier than seeing Nate play with Jenna and Carter. Except maybe seeing him do dishes.

And lastly, we really have a great marriage and I’ve learned over and over in the last 5 years that, wow, we really are made for each other, my sweetie fits me perfectly and my love for him grows all the time, who knew? I love you with all my heart and soul Nate!

That’s it! I’ve had it! I’m going to change! We usually don’t hear those words until we have reached our Threshold. This article will explore what threshold is and how to use it to your advantage.

Threshold is like a boiling point or a point that you reach in your life where you say you’ve had enough, that’s it, I’m tired of this. I’m tired of the way I am.

Most homes have a hot water heater. Every hot water heater has a valve on them, a special safety valve. It’s a pressure release valve. To keep the hot water heater from exploding from too much pressure, this release valve will open if the pressure gets too high.

Our “Pressure Release Valve”

I think inside each of us there is a pressure release valve – something inside of us that kicks in and says, “Whoa, you’ve gone too far, you’re over the limit, you’ve done it this time” and it wakes you up and says, “hey what in the heck are you doing?” It’s a threshold that you reach or a line that you cross that tells you, “Hey, you need to change. You can’t live your life like this anymore.”

Think for a moment why most people don’t make changes in their lives. Usually there are some real things they need to change but they don’t. Why? Because things are bad but they’re really not that bad. They’re just cruising along and maybe they’re not doing things right but things aren’t really so bad so it’s hard to be motivated to change in that situation. Read the rest of this entry »

No marriage is perfect. Even the best of marriages experience problems from time to time. Just because you have problems in your marriage doesn’t mean you have a bad marriage or that you should end your relationship. A marriage is a work in progress which requires patience and love.

Marriage was ordained of God

We read in the Bible in Genesis 2:24 – “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

From the beginning marriage has been ordained of God. It is a divine institution. It is sacred and should be treated as such. Have you ever stopped and thought about the fact that, in God’s eyes, marriage isn’t just a legal transaction like buying a car or a house – it is a sacred rite, like baptism or confirmation. When we mess with marriage we are treading on sacred ground. Read the rest of this entry »

Millions of people all over the world struggle with addictions every day. There are many kinds of addictions such as drugs, alcohol, smoking, pornography, or food. In this article I share a simple concept that can help in dealing with addictions.

Fire Analogy

When I was a kid I liked to play with matches. It was fun. I loved to watch things burn. But as you know, playing with matches can be very dangerous. Maybe it wasn’t a coincidence that my family had two homes burn down during my growing up years. (I have solid alibis!)

I like to compare addictions to fire. Think about a match. You can strike a match and how hard is it to put out a match? One little puff of your breath and you can blow it out. No problem. Another match lights, puff, blow it out. No problem. However, when you let a fire go, it can quickly rage out of control where there is nothing you can do about it. At that point you’re basically lost, it’s out of control, and it’s beyond anything you can do about it.

I know about this concept personally. Let me share with you two stories from my life. Read the rest of this entry »

(This entry is by Ralph Waldo Trine from his book THIS MYSTICAL LIFE OF OURS written in 1907, and is now in the public domain.)

Have we within our power the ability to determine at all times what types of habits shall take form in our lives? In other words, is habit-forming, character-building, a matter of mere chance, or have we it within our own control? We have, entirely and absolutely.

For there is a simple, natural, and thoroughly scientific method that all should know. A method whereby old, undesirable, earth-binding habits can be broken, and new, desirable, heaven-lifting habits can be acquired, — a method whereby life in part or in its totality can be changed, provided one is sufficiently in earnest to know, and, knowing it, to apply the law.

Thought is the force underlying all. And what do we mean by this? Simply this: Your every act — every conscious act — is preceded by a thought. Your dominating thoughts determine your dominating actions. The acts repeated crystallize themselves into the habit. The aggregate of your habits is your character. Whatever, then, you would have your acts, you must look well to the character of the thought you entertain. Whatever act you would not do, –habit you would not acquire you must look well to it that you do not entertain the type of thought that will give birth to this act, this habit . It is a simple psychological law that any type of thought, if entertained for a sufficient length of time, will, by and by, reach the motor tracks of the brain, and finally burst forth into action. Murder can be and many times is committed in this way, the same as all undesirable things are done. On the other hand, the greatest powers are grown, the most God-like characteristics are engendered, the most heroic acts are performed in the same way. Read the rest of this entry »